Step #1 AA Recovery

Step #1.  We Admit That We Were Powerless Over Alcohol that Our Lives Have Been Unmanageable.

 

What Does the Disease of Addiction Mean to Me?

Addiction means that we have a problem that we cannot fix on our own.  This means that we are so powerless over alcohol that my addiction means that I cannot stop drinking unless I have God to solve the problem for me.  I was born with alcohol inside of my bloodstream as a child.  My mother ended up suffering from Post-Partum Depression for the first two years of my existence.  I was raised by my grandparents because my mother at the time was not able to take care of me.

 

Next, I was born addicted to alcohol and this is very serious to me personally because I could have died at birth.  Anyway, my name is Anthony Joseph Hopkins and I was born on Thursday June 24, 1965 at 7:30PM.  I was born at St. Elizabeth Medical Center in Dayton, Ohio.  I know that my life has spiraled upside down because I was confused about my actual birthfather.  I know that I have been thinking about my biological father all of these years.

 

Further, I know that I am starting all over because it enables me to fully understand the 12 Steps of AA Recovery.  I know that I am a 58-year-old man who has a lot of common sense.  I am a man who is very intelligent, educated, smart, and gifted.

 I know that I have a different father compared to my half siblings.  I have heard from my family members that my father is a Caucasian man who was much older than my mother.  I supposed that my mother was looking for security from my father.  I really do not know, but I have to fully grasp the difference between being raised by my grandmother.  I know that it is not very easy for me to continue to live without having all of my issues resolved.

 

Moreover, I know that I started drinking alcohol when I was seven years old.  I remember when my mother used to take me to Bootleg Joints and she used to drink alcohol and smoke cigarettes.  I know that I started drinking at an early age because my mother used to do so much for me.

In Addition, I know that my life as an alcoholic started in the year of 1972.  I know that my life has messed up because I have been trying to actively find my biological father throughout the years.  I always wanted to find out who he was personally.  Anyway, my cousin and I took a drink from the can of Miller’s Beer in 1972.  My mother told me not to drink it.  What she did not know is that I was receiving alcohol in my milk just to put me to sleep as a child.

 

Also, I have went through school being abused and beaten up by my so-called fair-weather friends.  I know that members of the opposite sex used to beat me up all of the time.  Frankly, my sister used to beat me up all of the time.

 My sister was much bigger than me.  My other brothers and sisters were small during that time.  My grandmother used to take me to Church all of the time.  I know that my life at that time was completely messed up.  The other children at that time; during the 1970s were very aggressive.  I used to drink alcohol with my friends just to fit in with them. 

 

How has my disease affected me Physically? Mentally? Spiritually? Financially?  My disease of alcoholism has affected me physically because I ended up catching tuberculosis at an early age.  I remember when I was around my mother’s husband at the time, and all of a sudden, I got sick.  I know that I was 11 years old when I had tuberculosis for 9 years.

 I had to go to the hospital every 3 months for breathing treatments.  I also know that I had to take medication for TB as well.  I know that my entire family was sick.  My mother’s husband was not allowed to visit my grandparents at their house.  I was throwing up all of the time.  I could not breathe.  I could not visit my mother for three years.  I know that I was mentally messed up as well because I was dazed and confused.  I know that my mother told me to my face that I had to avoid playing with my friends for a while.

 

Spiritually, I was able to attend church with my grandparents and I had to end up sitting in the back of the church in Dayton, Ohio.  God was always with me.  Even though I was already an alcoholic.  I had to be very careful!! 

I could not make the other children sick around me.  God might have been upset with me at first, but my life was getting bad.  On a financial point of view, I was spending all of my money on alcohol from 1977-1990.  During the past 13 years, I was dealing with women who were harlots.  I know that I have made a lot of mistakes having sex without the use of condoms.  I was engaging in risky behavior as an early adult.  I know that my life was messed up.

 

How Does the Self-Centered part of my disease affect my life and the life of those around me?

 

 

I know that my behavior affected all of my family members because I was dealing with the wrong people.  I know that I was hanging around the wrong people.  I was hanging around street gang members in Job Corps in Grand Rapids Michigan.  I want to say that my brothers and sisters did not speak to me for an extended period of time.  I became a negative influence.  I was drinking alcohol all of the time.  I was also smoking marijuana as well.  I know that my family members and I did not speak to me.  My grandparents were very upset that I had been drinking for a number of years.  I officially did not stop drinking and smoking marijuana until 1990.

 

 

Perhaps, I was making a fool out of myself for over 30 years.  I really did not make a change in my venue until I went to treatment for drugs and alcohol for 90 days.  I went to the Salvation Army Adult Rehabilitation Center from June 1, 1990 to September 1, 1990.  I also relocated to the Toledo, Ohio Area for almost 6 years.  I still went to treatment at an agency called Substance Abuse Services Incorporated in Toledo, Ohio for three years.  I was enrolled in Day Treatment during that time.

 

 

 

 

 

Finally, I attended the University of Toledo from 1991 through 1996.  I graduated from college twice.  I received my Associates Degree in Social Services Technology from the University of Toledo Scott Park Campus.  I also spent another two years at the University of Toledo Main Campus.  I received my Bachelors of Arts Degree in Interdisciplinary Studies.  I also had to spend a lot of time living inside of a Crack House in North Toledo from 1991 through 1994.  I was working two jobs and attending school at the same time.  I ended up relocating further in North West Toledo from 1994 through 1996.  I was living inside of a decent neighborhood.  Even though one of my close friends died in 1995.

 

 

In Conclusion, I relocated back to the Dayton, Ohio Area for one year.  I was living with my relatives for a certain period of time.  I was working at Kroger Grocery Store in Fairborn, Ohio for one year.  Afterwards, I moved to the Charlotte, NC Area for 12 years.  I was living inside of a homeless shelter for 8 months.  I was working at the First Citizens Bank in Charlotte, NC.  The Bank was located on Sugar Creek Rd and I-85.

 

 I worked at the bank for almost a year.  I was attending AA Meetings on a regular basis.  I started working at the United States Census Bureau for only 9 months in the year 2000.  I ended up going back home for three months.

 

I moved back to the Charlotte, NC Area and I was working several jobs until I ended up working at UNCC in the University City Area for 8 years.  I ended up losing my job because I got scammed out of $16,977 dollars in Western Union Funds.  I had to go back to Ohio in 2010.  I have been here ever since.  I have been living in the Dayton, Ohio Area for 14 years now.  Things have changed since then.  My family members died during a 7-year period.  I have been clean and sober for a total of 33 years now.  I have been taking it easy and I have been traveling for a period of time as well.