What does it mean to be Schizophrenic
Non Specified?
Good Afternoon!! I want to inform all
of you that I went to see the therapist and she stated that I have a brand new
mental health diagnosis. She told me
that my diagnosis is Schizophrenic Non Specified. I am in a state of disbelief because for the
past 20 years, my mental health diagnosis has progressed. It has increased tremendously during the past
20 years. First, I was diagnosed with
Bipolar Disorder on July 15, 1997. I was
living in Charlotte, NC during that time.
I really feel depressed because my symptoms have increased
dramatically. It is not easy to have
this problem because I have been hearing voices for the past 8 years. It is not very easy having this mess. I am very angry about having Schizophrenia
Non Specified. I am trying to deal with
this problem to the best of my ability.
What I really need right now is prayer.
I need everyone to please pray for me because I am terribly hurt. I did not deserve to have this problem. I am trying to cope with this mess as well as
Glaucoma.
Next, I want to inform everyone that
I no longer hear voices. I used to hear
voices in the past, but right now, I am feeling more depressed than usual. I want to inform everyone that I am really
hurt. I am having pain inside of my
broken jaw, eyes, and my left foot. My
left foot is numb. I want to concentrate
on my mental health problem. I want to
let everyone know that I have been having a hard time trying to concentrate and
staying focus. I want to inform everyone
that I am hurt very bad. I have been
having problems since my mother and sister died last year. I have been trying to get it together, just
like everyone have been telling me. I am
hurt because my issues are getting the best of me. I want to let everyone know that my family
members have been telling me to get over it.
How can you get over something that you do not have any control
over? I want to let everyone know that
my family members are very concerned about me right now.
Also, I want you to know that I am
having a hard time trying to make it out here.
I know that I am supposed to take care of myself and clean up my
apartment. I am having a hard time doing
both tasks. At least I am a very honest
and truthful person. My therapist stated
that I have to go to therapy for the rest of my entire life. For one reason or another, I have to try to
deal with things one step at a time. I
have been doing a lot of reading and writing as of late. I do not have an AA Sponsor anymore. I guess my previous AA Sponsor does not
understand mental illness. I am telling
everyone that it is very hard having a mental illness and living and dealing
with societal changes. Things change in
society very fast. I want to let people
inside of my world. I have had a lot of
sleepless nights when it comes to dealing with a mental illness. I only want what everyone else have is a job,
money, house, and a good quality of life.
Further, I want to inform all of you
that I enjoy coming to the library. I
have taken a lot of medication in the past and present for my mental
illness. I know that I have a long way
to go when it comes to dealing with an unspecified illness. I always wondered
what it would be like having an unspecified illness. An unspecified mental illness is very hard to
talk about. This is because a person who
have done the assessment on me really do not know what she was doing. I want to inform everyone that if I were
schizophrenic, I would not be blogging.
I would be inside of an institution.
I know that I have been crying and feeling depressed because I have
schizophrenia. I will say this, the
voices do not talk to me while I am writing.
I tell people that most voices are active at night than during the
day. However, in some cases, voices tend
to be around 24 hours a day. My voices
tell me that I smell bad. My voices tell
me that I am going blind. The voices
always tell me that I am not taking care of myself like most people my age.
Finally, I want to tell everyone that
having an unspecified illness is very serious.
I guess the person who did the assessment, did not know what she was
doing. If a person did an assessment on
me would not look at a book for answers to her many questions. I want to inform everyone that it is not very
easy having an illness of any type. It
really hurts me personally because I had always take things seriously. I always
tell the truth about having a mental illness.
I want everyone to know that it is not easy dealing with a disease. What I have is a disease inside of the
mind. Yes, it is very painful and it
makes me cry inside and out. The pain
hurts very badly. I am a person that
hurts all over my body. I pray every day
that my pain would go away forever.
Please take care of yourself. God
Bless You!! God, grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot
change. Courage to change the things
that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Sincerely,
Anthony Hopkins
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